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Scandals and inappropriate behaviour everywhere you turn on the campaign trail for the presidential elections.

The order of the candidates is in no way significant or relevant to my own politics, just how each event came to me and an attempt to cut away at the crap published in our daily press. There has been no mention of manifestos, just a dirty tricks campaign which has taken away from legitimate political debate.

mamertos

from the page Mamertos mamertos everywhere on facebook

Oscar Ivan Zuluaga: Democratic Center Party (Not center and not democratic) 

  • Zuluaga and Uribe wiretap and hack emails belonging to people on the negotiating team in Cuba.
  • Hacking is discovered and the dynamic duo deny everything.
  • The video of Zuluaga conversing with hacker Andres Sepulveda is released by Semana.
  • Zuluaga resists wide-ranging calls for his resignation
  • Uribe and Zuluaga claim that the video is a montage
  • A photo is revealed of Uribe with La Gata

President Santos: Social Party of National Unity (Anti social and disconnected)

  • Mayor Petro is ousted, signed off by President and then reinstated by the President
  • Santos receives Petro’s backing (?)
  • JJ Rendon resigns as a “campaign strategist” for President Santos after revelations of having received US$12 million to act as a go between for drug lords and the government to negotiate terms for their surrender.
  • Vice presidential running mate German Vargas Lleras calls a heckler “Gamin” in Arauca.
  • President Santos is accused of having paid for votes in recent congressional elections in the form of handing out state funds for infrastructure projects. This is referred to here as la mermelada.
  • A photo emerges of President Santos in the company of the hacker Andres Sepulveda
  • The Farmers strike
  • The Teachers strike

Clara Lopez: The Alternative Democratic Pole (it really doesn’t translate does it?)

  • Claims to have dated Uribe in college. Her ratings climb (?)

Enrique Peñalosa: the Green Party (while he may have “greener” credentials, it’s not a Green Party as you would think in the European sense)

  • Seen to be an early contender, his campaign is nothing.
  • No one knows who he is and what he stands for

Marta Lucía Ramírez: Conservative Party (yes it is)

  • Victim of a montage
marta lucia ramirez

Marta Lucia Ramirez becomes a victim of a montage, the most notable point of her run at the presidency

So, there you have it. That’s the story of the Colombian Presidential elections in 2014 in less than 500 words. Tragic really. The date is almost upon us, what will happen on May 25 after voting is closed at 4pm? What of the peace dialogues? What of tax increases, education, health, the palaver that is Bogotá? Colombia lends herself to an unconventional revolution. The front-runners in this election race as we know it (since polls close here a week before the event) look about as useful as wet cake.

 

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