As you wander along Bogotá’s San Francisco River (otherwise known as the Eje Ambiental) perhaps admiring the bathing facilities designed by Colombian architect Rogelio Salmona for the city’s superabundance of street-dwelling indigents, or you’re enjoying a stroll through the Plaza de los Esmeralderos or perhaps crossing the Carrera Septima at the tunnel in front of the Javeriana University…you will no doubt be swamped in a dizzying array of Gomelo University Students.
Gomelo University Students abound in Bogotá and so here’s a guide on how to identify them and/ or avoid them. Let me also grant you the concession that I study at the Javeriana University but you’ll not find me deep in a Gomelo conversation such as the following which I had the great misfortune to overhear.
“Pero marica, no seas huevon.” “Huevon no somos maricas.” “Huevon!” “Marica!” “Me voy huevones.” “Nos vemos marica.”
And yet, that’s a summary of what was actually said. It was painful to hear. The Gomelo to Gomelo vocabulary is something to behold. Before I continue, I should probably explain the actual meaning of the word Gomelo.
“Someone who is or wants to be high class, boasts about material things and looks down upon other social classes.” (source)
Of course, the Gomelo is not unique to the Javeriana, but they do seem to congregate en masse on the steps in front of the University. The University of Los Andes and el Rosario, the Santo Tomas, La Sabana and beyond all clearly have their fair share of Gomelos.
Where are the Gomelos to be found? Clearly not in class, talking about the past weekend and their future plans with their combo of Mafe, Pili, Cami, Juanca, Juanda, Mavi to head out to some finca or another in Subachoque, Choachi or the timeshare in Anapoima. Expect them to wax lyrical about the pizzas at Julia‘s, “deli marica“.
On campus, they’re wherever is the place to be seen, slouching on a lawn “huevon” or blocking people exiting the elevator as they perform verbal backflips of salutation and bravado upon seeing a friend for the first time since last term.
How can you locate a Gomelo? Not riding public transport. Persistently stuck to WhatsApp trying to crash a ride to home in Cedritos and possibly smoking a blunt in the Parque Nacional or in some student dive in the Candelaria depending on the alma mater in question. Not listening to Candela Estereo or Tropicana and ridiculing “the help” (la muchacha) for doing so.
Holidays? Wherever their parents take them. Expect them to have enjoyed summer courses overseas and long weekend jaunts to San Andres – the Decameron San Luis of course.
Basically, the Gomelo has never had to force themselves or face challenges to procure anything in life. Everything has been provided for and I suppose that in an English university a Gomelo would be referred to as a “Sloane“. They may not know about the conflict in the Colombian countryside, but Daddy’s interests are under threat from the Santos Farc Chavismo threatening to take over the country, but there’s a discount at the Diesel store in El Retiro shopping mall so huevon, what are you waiting for?
Military service? What’s that? Marica?
PS: remember, this is all or nothing. If we don’t receive the minimum $15,000 by the end of the 60 day campaign, the project doesn’t happen and you aren’t charged.